Saturday, July 11, 2009

Obviously, I haven't learned my lesson.


When my oldest was around 9-10 months old I used to hand him the cordless phone to play with while I did important things like eat a meal or take a shower. One day I noticed he'd accidentally dialed somewhere so I quickly turned off the phone and went about my day. About thirty minutes later I heard a knock at my door and when I looked through the window I saw two sheriff officers.

It's important right now to let you know that growing up in a major city like Miami I'm not an ingenue. I remember being completely freaked out the first year I lived in North Carolina when our mailman just left a package on my doorstep. Um, that doesn't happen in South Florida. Lock and key, bars on doors, alarms installed in homes, signatures for that $3 comb you ordered online. Mr. Maricucu just laughed at my ranting about that "crazy mailman leaving my package unattended on the front porch." He's from the gentile south where this type of thing is normal and no one walks off with the makeup you ordered from Sephora. When I saw the uniform I did what any logical and paranoid former South Floridian would do - I asked them for their badge number through the door. The officers didn't really appreciate my questioning but I didn't care. There's no way I was going to make it easy for some maniac to make off with my baby. Maternal hormones are an amazing thing.


There I was indignant, fired up on adrenaline and dialing 911 to verify that these men were who they said they were. The officers were getting even more agitated as I dialed without opening the door. Finally I got through an operator for non-emergencies and she verified that yes these were real officers and that someone called 911 from my home then hung up. Doh! So I sheepishly opened the front door in my ragged ponytail, breastmilk soaked t-shirt and Mr. Maricucu's bathrobe to let the officers know that everyone was okay and that my 9 month old had dialed without my knowledge when I hung up the phone. They were thrilled and delighted that a baby had been the cause for their drive out to my home - not. Despite my crime against fashion, I evaded arrest that day.


So you'd think that with such an experience behind me I'd have learned my lesson to keep the kids away from phones forever and ever. Not. My second son, one day at the ripe old age of 12 months, program dialed my sister in law's home and proceeded to let her answering machine record about 45 minutes worth of me yapping around the house. I'm sure the conversation between me, a 3 year old in the throes of "no!" and a 12 month old were just fascinating for A. and her family. But still, I've not changed my ways. Here is the baby, phone in hand and might I add she has the "text hands" position down pat at 9 months old.

Though the risk of her calling the cops or ordering a pizza was for a good cause and involved chocolate. More on that later. However, I might have to somehow deactivate the number 9 on the keypad. Just to be safe.



Tanyia said...

c'mon you can't leave us hanging...I need a good chocolate fix.

Marielle said...

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow, you're only a day awayyyyyy! Must run errands today.

Marin!! said...

Hee hee...Did she order a pizza?

Denise said...

Oh my gosh that made me laugh. My hubby and I argue about this all the time. I let both boys dial all day long all the time. I tell him I have it under control. He is terrified they will dial 911- I keep reminding him it hasn't happened yet! WAY too funny. He really struggles with it but since I am right he fights himself to let it go. In sympathy, I often unplug the base in some way so that they still get the beeps but it won't dial out. :)

and I'm with you on the struggling not to think everyone is out to get you. For the most part I do ok, but my parents have lived in Miami with us (little), and chicago so they are overly paranoid. I have let go a lot- but it's amusing how different it is. The biggest thing I struggle with is when someone does a fender bender- they just want to pay out of pocket or let it go- I was taught to always contact insurance etc. or they might claim it was your fault when you leave. LOL....oh's fun.

Lowell said...

I haven't learned this lesson either. I let both of them play with the phone, and we had a 911 call a few weeks ago. whoops.

Marielle said...

Marin knowing her, she was likely already figuring out how to order from the home shopping network. You know how those younger siblings have such a short learning curve and all. Hope your birthday was great and that the debauchery was caught on film.

Denise I didn't know you lived in Miami for a bit! Oh man the accident thing truly bit me in theh rear one time. I even hit a Miami Dade cop one time (just their car while they were responding to another accident and about 1 week before my wedding). It's definitely hard to shake off the inherited paranoia. My dad always says he doesn't even trust his shadow so at least I'm making some progress right?

Lowell you make me feel so much better. Nothing like children to keep us humble eh?