Uh, ma'am what do you have in there?

Oh just a drum,




Some maracas,




A tambourine,




And this lethal quira (thank goodness it wasn't in her carry on),




Yes that would be my mom, aka Abuela's doing. Now before each parent cringes in horror at the thought of a grandparent showing up with the equivalent of a percussion section as a gift, I asked for it. I really did ask for it. Promise. See in June when my mom was partying her soon to be 60 year young patooty at my grandfather's birthday party she mentioned she was having trouble coming up with gift ideas to bring back for the boys. I told her that she didn't have to bring anything but if she felt she had to that I would love some instruments for the kids and to use in our homeschooling. No I have no visions of us as the Partridge Family, just wanting to let the kids bang out their preferred rhythm without worrying about expensive gear. One of the markets in DR sells these for a song (ha!) and I remembered how much fun we had as kids with the drums just like that flag painted one on my table.

That would be how my mom found herself explaining away not one but two sets of instruments (for both sets of grandchildren) to a US customs agent. A whole suitcase worth of instruments mind you. She just shrugged her shoulders and said, "it's for my grandkids" and apparently he believed her. Like I said thank goodness the guira picks (3 very pokey metal tines) were not on her carry on or I might have gotten a call from a TSA agent holding my mom for questioning. But thanks to her we now have a rocking family band to which we've added the collection of harmonicas that have somehow made their way to our home over the last couple of years.




And if you come to my house a certain little two year old might treat you to her version of the blues.




Here's a proper use of those instruments and featuring the voice of the Dominican equivalent of John Lennon, Bob Dylan and P Diddy all rolled into one - Juan Luis Guerra. I dare you not to get up and dance.

I'm a cynic.

Yes, yes I am. I've accepted that part of me and I'm okay with it. So the sinister chuckle I get every.single.time. I watch this commercial should come as no surprise.




Seriously, I laugh at the poor guy's face drop. Obviously it's a commercial people. But still I laugh. I'm awful, yes, yes I am.

My smart phone thinks I'm an idiot.

Back in April my husband started pestering me about us getting some smart phone called a Droid. I had owned PDAs and even PC phones before, before the iPhone pretty much revolutionized things. I remembered the little stylus, the clumsy interface with setting it up like a PC and the lackluster speed compared to a traditional computer. I mehed, I hemmed, I hawed. I pretty much rained on his parade and said, "me? What do I need a smart phone for? I'm fine with mine. You can get yours, I'll stick with my regular cell phone." Poor guy. But he kept working on me, and finally I said I'd give it a try. It wouldn't hurt to put a calendar in easy access of my hands but I said it would be a waste, that I didn't text and that it would in no way replace the ease of working on my laptop. Man have I been on a diet of crow ever since. I kind of like crow and I really love this little phone.

The same person who said she wouldn't text? Now she interrupts *cough* entertains her husband at work with random pictures from her day. The person who whined that it wouldn't replace her laptop? Well the poor laptop has gotten lonely. She's writing me these annoying stalkerish emails and I'm kind of avoiding the topic with her. Wouldn't want her to get jealous or anything. I now check the weather while nursing the babe in bed, scan books at the local store with the UPC scanner app, record videos of the kids while rocking away in my living room and have even been *gasp* known to post to the blog from the phone (though Google sure doesn't make it easy, hear that Google?!!).

But there's one little thing wrong in this relationship between the droid and I. It thinks I'm an idiot. See, I communicate via email and forums quite a bit. I pride myself on a decent mastery of the English language and even more so on my wonderful knack for using spellcheck. All hail to firefox for that wonderful spellcheck. Still, an error would escape my fingers now and then. A little typo here, an incorrect tense typed up in a rush there. Nothing the reader on the other end couldn't fill in almost automatically with this wonderful human mind we have. If I typed, "I'll scroumge that up for you", the reader could understand that I meant scrounge. All well and good.

However, my smart phone thinks it knows better than me. I find it kind of creepy in HAL sort of way. It has this annoying little feature called autocorrect that when I'm thumbing away on the onscreen keyboard takes a best guess at what my intended word is. Instead of scrounge it thinks I means "scourge" and then I come across online like I'm Balki from Perfect Strangers wishing a pox upon my reader. Mr. Maricucu says I can turn it off but the feature does come in handy sometimes. Unless I'm texting in Spanish with my mom and then it has a field day. In another year or so of adding Spanish words to the autocorrect roster I'll have the thing thoroughly confused and my poor friends are going to be getting the funkiest Spanglish emails evah. Good times, good times. So if you get a message from me and it sounds like I was hitting the sauce, rest assured that I'm not. It was just my droid.

Random TV show association.

I have these random moments that trigger memories like when you find that dusty cardboard box in your attic and pull out item after item in awe at the time that's passed. Somehow the other day I was watching The Nanny. Don't ask. It involved me nursing and not being near the remote. This episode guest starred Joe Bologna and I remembered one of his very short lived shows that my sister and I absolutely adored. Rags to Riches. I immediately had to search on youtube and apparently I'm not alone in my crazy devotion. We loved the kooky plot of a widower adopting 5 grownish girls but most of all we loved the music. Yes the random acts of dancing and song love started when I was a kid. Music that had my mom's ear cocked our TV's way because she recognized almost all the songs (my mom rocked the 60s). Just like these current teeny boppers loving everything 90s again *sigh* everyone was obsessed with the 50s and 60s back then. I loved, loved, loved Tisha Campbell.




Of course that reminded me of Little Shop of Horrors the movie. I can't remember how many times we watched that one but too many too count. I will not admit to singing with a hairbrush along with Ms. Campbell and her crew. Nope, didn't do it.




Seeing Tichina Arnold triggered the memories of watching Martin religiously then going to school the next day to laugh about it with friends. Sheneneh and Pam were the highlights of almost every episode. Be warned, mild but colorful language in this one:




After guffawing over Sheneneh I couldn't help but remember In Living Color, another 90s favorite. Fire Marshall Bill and Homey the Clown were my top picks but Wanda and Venus De Milo are a close second. Definitely kind of on the rude and crude side but I can't help laughing still. Here's a more tame skit with Jim Carey as Background Guy.




I realized two things after my mini flashback:

1. I have a strange sense of humor
and
2. I watched way too much TV as a kid

Swinging from the rafters . . .

. . . was not what I was doing on Saturday night. After a hectic week Mr. Maricucu told me to take off around dinner time and blow off some steam. With the nursling in tow I did what most moms dream about - ate a meal all.by.myself at a snail's pace all while enjoying a magazine and letting the nursling nurse. Heaven. Then I decided to check out some photography books and magazines at Barnes and Noble. With my selections in hand, I found what I thought would be a quiet corner and sat on the floor to nurse the baby again while I read. Can I say it again? Yes, heavenly. My vantage point as I relaxed:




My brief bliss was suddenly broken by a conversation. Picture it - young 19ish year old college guy. The type that feels he's just so much smarter than his peers. He's out with his crush dujour, a little ingenue looking at him as my Abuela would say, "like he's Rock Hudson." Except when she says it, it sounds like "rog hoodson" and I love that. So back to our little 90201 couple. As they round the corner to the next aisle he says in all his self-important glory, "Do you know what the greatest threat to a security system is?" Dramatic pause. "People."

Gah! Gag me now. I felt awkward for them.

I bet you five bucks he heard that not even the week before, 10 bucks judging by her giggle that she took it hook line and sinker and a grand prize of $20 ladies and gentlemen, that it's not the first time he used that line. Then I wondered if I sounded as snotty, yet as blissfully young and ignorant as they did when I was their age.

Nahhhhhhhhhh.

By the way, sorry for torturing you guys with cruddy phone camera shots. My camera is in some black hole and I'm not sure when it will return. Hopefully soon. But here's another freaky shot. Playing with the brightness on said phone to get a good shot of the baby's eyes.

Mayhem

Wow it's been a while since I posted a video. Not because I haven't laughed at anything lately but because my brain is fried and when I am in front of the computer and not the droid the kids seem to have their kid-dar out for "oh no momma is concentrating!" So it's quite appropriate that I post something related to mayhem - the Allstate mayhem commercials. The deadpan tone of voice from Dean Winters is like Ben Stein channeling Bobcat Goldthwait. Since Mr. Maricucu must be pretty tired of me guffawing at these spots I figured I'd post one on the blog for posterity.




I'm just this shy of not too old to get the references but it's pretty scary to realize that in another couple of years I'll be completely out of the loop regarding modern slang. Heck, I didn't even know who this Dean Winters guy was until I googled him. It may sound pretty bleak but TV for me is limited to food network and HGTV so I don't have to put up with overly tanned "reality tv" stars, canceled favorites or bad news.

Oh and a little note to my friends and visitors. I'm not ignoring comments, I promise. I'm just barely functioning on a daily basis (in a good way) and like to dedicate a little time and thought to my replies. So just consider me delayed at responding in an ADD/procrastinator kind of way.

If only . . .

. . . it were this simple. Rest assured, the video is totally safe for work, school and your granny. Just a little fanciful story telling.

TV by proxy.

I've mentioned before how I watch a lot of TV by proxy. I've got my husband on the hook for letting me know what eventually happens on Lost despite me not having watched anything past the first season. I'm sort of addicted to The Movie Spoiler because I can satisfy my curiosity about a horror flick without having to watch the darned thing and end up replaying it in my head. Yes that totally makes sense to me. Here's a tip: TMS also works great for those very involved multilayered plots that leave you gasping and saying, "no way!" at the end. You can go back through the synopsis to reprocess all those foreshadowing details again and again. What? People don't do that? Do people actually leave a movie without replaying it over and over in their heads while annoying their significant other exclaiming about plot points at random times the following week? Huh, go figure.

Another show that we started watching together but I quickly forgot to keep watching, was Can We Duet. Great show put on by Country Music Television where existing duets (or soloists who are paired up) battled it out a la American Idol without the sickeningly sweet bubble gum pop. The first season one of my favorite pairs was Joey + Rory, a sweet down to earth couple who didn't take themselves too seriously. By the second season I missed all but one episode however loved the winning duo - Steel Magnolia. Not only were they named after one of my favorite movies but their voices (particularly the female vocalist, Meghan Linsey) were lovely. Here they are giving a live performance with nothing but a guitar and a set of drums.

A quickie.

A quick little cocoon for newborn photos. There will be one in July of course and I might get to sneak in a little practice before then. Until then Mr. Floppy serves as a chunkier albeit more cooperative standin.




Just some cranberry colored homespun (it's much deeper in real life) and unblocked per the pattern's suggestion. Thanks to Melissa for her lovely All You Need is Love free cocoon pattern. I did mine on size 10 needles and cast on 60 stitches. It's roughly 9 x 14" but I can pretty much coax it into different sizes by tugging and pulling which is what I needed for trying out different poses. Forgive the very messy sewing room floor. I only vacuum when I notice it, um like now.




And here's a little something that the kids and I are loving. Andrew Bird performing Dr. Stringz and pretty much entrancing all of us with his very smooth, melodious voice. I'm not really into music to the extent most people are collecting albums, downloading and listening all the time. However every now and then I hear something that's just pleasing to the ear. Must check out more of his songs in the near future. Be sure to turn up the volume.

Sock Monkey Love

Back in the day . . .

Oh yes, I'm going there and I know that purely by the use of that phrase I will be instantly catapulted into old fogie status. I'm okay with that.

So back in the day you had to either tape the Superbowl with a vcr and actually fast forward through the football to catch the commercials or watch the game with a fellow sport enthusiast who would alert you to the commercial breaks by getting more food or taking a bathroom break. Then came the wonders of the internet for us non-sport lovers. Suddenly you could spend your Sunday on any other endeavor and then just look up the commercials online. This year I actually forgot to do either. Sad, huh? I'm sure the big advertising agencies consider me a nightmare - a consumer with ADD so bad she forgets to even look up the much touted Superbowl commercials. I won't even get into how I promised my husband years ago when Lost jumped the shark that he would just tell me what happens in the final episode because I had neither the patience nor the attention span to watch the series. Lucky for me he's still watching and what seemed like an impossible promise is likely to come true. TV slackers, unite!

So about those Superbowl commercials. I did get a peak of one weeks later that totally caught my attention. It's the Kia commercial featuring the beloved Sock Monkey going on a fantasy wild ride with his fellow plushies. Sock monkeys have experienced quite a renewed popularity in the last several years thanks to the online crafting community and it seems someone was paying attention. My favorite part hands down? Sock Monkey's tatoo of course - hand embroidery no less.

The original cool science guy.

Well at least for me. Before Bill Nye and his frenetic energy busted on the scene for me there was only Mr. Wizard. I'm going to sound like an old fogie now but back in the day when Nickelodeon had better content like You Can't Do That On Television and Mr. Wizard's World, my sister and I would watch Don Herbert in awe at his experiments and dead pan explanations which were not condescending despite his younger audience. When he passed away a couple of years ago I was surprised to learn he'd been doing the Mr. Wizard gig for quite a while. Here he is explaining siphons to a young girl.

Yes, I can memorize lyrics too.

I'm one of those annoying people that does not hear lyrics. I hear riffs, I hear rhythm (even if I can't dance to it) and melody. So of course I must fill in the blanks and I do so, and like most lyric bunglers I do it with surety of tongue. That's right people, I sing it wrong and sing it loud. Don't even try to tell me the right lyrics, once I've got my lyrics in my head there's no changing or reprogramming. Believe me, people who love me have tried over and over. I'm not even going to tell you what I sing to Robert Palmer's "Addicted To Love" but let's just say that when I finally looked up the real lyrics one day I cringed.

But people, there's hope! I've been listening to this Lady Antebellum song for the last couple of months and love it. Best of all I've got the lyrics straight and I sing them full voice, in the car, where I can force my children to listen to me now massacre melody instead of lyrics. See, momma's youthful soprano evaporated with lack of practice and adulthood. Please enjoy this video (even though it is a little hokey) and thank your lucky stars that you're hearing the real Lady Antebellum and not moi.
You're welcome.

Lady Antebellum More CMT Music More CMT Music Videos

The eagles have landed.

Our surprise is here and in full swing. Straight from Florida Abuelo and Abuela have arrived in a whirlwind matching only that of the grandchildren they are visiting.




Abuela dove right into playing checkers, hugging and lovingly doing dishes for this very tired Momma.




Abuelo served as living art while he napped on the couch. The kids kept taking turns poking him and seeing if he would wake up. The man sleeps like the dead.

Let me step away from all the holiday hoopla . . .

. . . to show you what I'm definitely going to be watching in January.




It's going to be beyond hysterical to watch these cooks (poor things were actually nominated by friends and family). Not because I consider myself some amazing cook but because let's be honest here, we allll have our days when what comes out of the kitchen resembles more wishful thinking than something edible. In fact, I remember being utterly shocked when I found out that my aunt of the pastelito/catering fame, awesome cook that she is apparently couldn't cook worth a lick even as a grown woman. My parents told me the story of the meatballs that looked like turds and tasted shall we say, slightly worse. In my own history are the red beans I made for my dad as a teen which I tried to recreate by looks instead of taste and had my dad chugging Pepto that evening. Who knew that my mom did not add ketchup, worcestershire sauce, A1 sauce, mustard and barbecue sauce to her beans? Obviously not me. So I'll be curling up with Mr. Maricucu to cheer on Chef Burrell (one of my faves) while she gets a couple of home cooks into culinary shape and enjoying the follies of those who don't make it all the way.

Gifts.

So, in a small home with no attic save that which is left for roof circulation and no basement where do you hide the gifts? In plain sight. All wrapped and finally no longer hogging up my closet are the gifts. How much in sight are these?




This is the living room shelf, about as central as you can get in our cozy home. Funny thing is the kids didn't even notice until Mr. Maricucu mentioned something about some shiny packages being up high. Although, I'll be the first to admit that the one itching for them to open their gifts the most is me.

Slowly but surely . . .

We are eating our way through the advent calendar. As the place markers convert from tubes to ornaments, the boys are whipping themselves into a frenzy over the anticipation and I can't help but join them as well. This year we have a tentative surprise for the holidays that if it comes to fruition will put the cherry on top of our Christmas.





In the meantime, we munch on chocolates, enjoy each other's company and keep ourselves busy with the preparations for a family holiday at home.

Never say never.

Well I can be honest and 100% sure when I say that you won't catch me bungee jumping. I have no interest in knowing what the ball business end of a paddle ball feels. However, leave it to one of my favorite comedians to put it much more eloquently than I ever could. Make sure to watch this all the way to the end and then share with the person in the room when they hear you guffawing. Hope your weekend was great!

Yesterday's mission.

I hauled my three kids to the local latin supermarket to procure ourselves an obscene amount of empanada discs for the pastelitos. Yes I make my own pastelito dough except around the holidays. Around the holidays it's a choice of premade discs or no pastelitos but more on that next week.

In typical ADHD fashion I proceeded to go up and down every.single.aisle. Oh my. I found gofio! I haven't had gofio since my age was in the single digits. We used to pack our mouths full of the stuff and of course like all Dominican kids, say the word gofio. Lots of fun back then. Having been raised in Miami by a very adventurous gourmand like my mom (and that's putting it mildly) I have a soft spot in my heart for many other ethnic dishes. The frozen foods section at the supermarket had roti filled with garbanzos, Jamaican patties (yet another variation on the pastelito), Venezuelan arepas, Honduran pupusas (ready to toast people!), and of course parfried tostones and croquetas. I swear I stood in front of the freezer in awe and the poor kids had no idea why.

Although pretty soon they got the picture when I added a few choice treats to our cart. Exhibit A, dulce de leche otherwise known as arequipe. One of the best incarnations I've had of this treat is a Colombian specialty. Imagine a communion wafer the size of a tortilla (called an oblea) which you spread as lavishly as you wish with dulce de leche (the good kind, not the stuff haagen dazs wants you to think is dulce de leche) then topped off with another oblea. Eat, munch, get a whole mess of crumbs on your shirt then go back for another. I'm not going to get into the possible sacrilegious bent on this snack, all I know is that it's amazing.

See where it says, "Great lunchbox idea!" All I'm going to say is that you won't believe what passes for kiddie nutrition in our good 'ol latin american countries. I don't kid myself into thinking that this is healthfood but a now and then treat.




Suffice it to say my kids loved this stuff. Good thing I bought the itty bitty teensy pots.




Next up, the guava paste. Mmmmm, super thick, super sweet flavorful guava paste to eat with cream cheese on a cracker, in a guava pastelito or better yet in a Colombian bocadillo - a small concentrated block of guava paste served with a matching little hunk of salty white farmer's cheese. Talk about eyes rolling back in your head.




And what Dominican worth their salt won't take advantage of another opportunity to indoctrinate her children on the deliciousness of plantains? Oh yeah the kids loved the plantain chips, garlic is a hands down favorite. The other favorite highlight of the trip? The meat department. In this day of overly sanitized, skinned and deboned meat, looking at a pig's head, pig brains and a cow's tongue is definitely a way to earn cool points with little boys. When my oldest asked me if cow's tongue was yummy (after my internal, "ewwwwwwwww!") I just smiled sweetly and said, "some people find it quite delicious!" I wouldn't want to ruin it for him in case he'd like to try it one day.

Renovation Realities

If you're familiar with the DIY Network then you've likely already discovered this gem. If not, you need to see Renovation Realities at least once. The premise of the show is to record the progress of a home renovation project when it's only the owners and their own funds involved. No production crew lending muscle power, no experienced contractor to avoid the usual pitfalls of home improvement and certainly no production budget.

Mr. Maricucu and I find it hysterical to see how sometimes our hesitation in thinking, "maybe we can't really do this on our own" is completely balanced by the people on this show who think it's so easy they can do it. But sometimes just thinking you can tackle a project is not enough and things don't always turn out. No, sometimes you end up spending double the money on what is ultimately shoddy workmanship and the kicker is you can only blame yourself. In this particular video even non-contractor me saw the goof-up coming a mile away. If you have some time to waste you can find other snippets from this show on youtube.

Star Wars?

I've mentioned before that Mr. Maricucu is a pretty big sci-fi fan. Star Wars, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, Stargate and all its incarnations. You name it, he likes it. Mr. Maricucu is married to me, the antithesis of a devoted sci-fi fan. I've never seen ET and only watched the modern Star Wars early in our marriage. So it's pretty apropos to find this video. Initially I thought I would laugh at her inability to keep the facts straight and pat myself on the back for knowing better but who am I kidding. I can't even unmesh the Star Wars plot and Willow (it's the fuzzy creatures darnit!) So laugh at her, laugh at me but enjoy your Friday.

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.